Feb 4th

Oh Where Is The Agent Who Is Meant For Me?

By Mumble
Somewhere, somewhere, deep in the heart of Britain, perhaps slumbering sweetly, perhaps smelling flowers by a newly mown meadow, perhaps striding purposely through an urban car park, perhaps sitting at desk looking at an empty client list, somewhere, somewhere exits the agent who is meant for me.

Why so reticent?  Why so shy? Why don't you take me on?

I have been published in magazines.  I have written poetry. I am the only person I know who has had a story published in Time Out! I had a poem in Swift when I was seven. (It referred to my tortoise nibbling my sock , which was a lie but I prefer to think of it as creativity.) Beryl Bainbridge once said she admired the intensity of my characterisation. (True) Laurie Lee (yes, it was indeed he) once called one of my stories, 'somewhat sub Lawrence but nevertheless effective in its way', which I think was a compliment.  It certainly seemed like one at a time.

 I am now on my second novel.  Surely there is an agent, a dear little agent, a smart and infinitely wise agent, who will actually read my first novel and take a little interest.

I am not a nasty person.  I will not pester an agent with ridiculous queries.  I will revise and revise,within reason.  I will be kind.

Somewhere, I believe. in this tired old world there is that very person, that courageous and insightful person, that wild and wonderful person who will be the agent who is meant for me.  Call to me and I will come.
Jan 8th

Ultimately Abandoned Poem

By Has'san
This is a poem i wrote for my abandoned story in which one of the students has written a poem about his three friends who changed and became the same as they were before. It was supposed to be written like this - with gaps because it would have been a lot bigger if written fully.

It goes like this:

Quite a significance they possess, they really do,
whether you ask, they will be there to woo.

Time melts away when they accompany you,
the reason for attachment, i never had a clue.
Henceforth, moon's reflection became sun's,
calm bewilderness and cold anger as if grappled them.
All faded away then as approached the dawn,
smiles prevailed and flowers scented the lawn.
Dec 29th

My Published Poem

By Has'san
This is the poem i wrote three years back, submitted to the local magazine, called Young World, 2 months ago and it  got published a month ago. The poem is titled FRIENDSHIP

Verse 1

What's friendship to me?
What's it worth you?
It's like an open window,
And a wide view.

Verse 2

It's a gleam of stars,
The brightness of the sun,
Spreading over the hearts,
Unpleasant to none.

Verse 3

It is a large oasis,
In the desert of death,
A blessing in disguise,
Giving me breath.

Verse 4

It is a glowing fire-fly,
In a world of darkness,
Illuminating the way,
Ridding me of weariness.

Verse 5

It is an unbreakable bond,
Full of fun but without sorrow,
Which helps the world run smoothly,
Or else I will not borrow.
Oct 21st


By Cyprus67

What a privilege

What a responsibility

Looking to the future

Hearing the failure

Waiting for the peace

What a privilege

What an honour

Heartache in measure

Smiles of equal score

Patience is a virtue

Please Lord I want some more

What a privilege

What a joy

Whether girl or whether boy

Dissolve the generational bore

Looking for more

Being a mother !

Sarah L Hunt
Jan 12 2009

Oct 20th


By Cyprus67

Consider this, all you who are there
Keep the lines of communication open and fair
The peace that exists from that which it seems
Gives a sure place for people to dream

Cutting the ties abruptly therefore
Serves to hinder a perpetual score
Wisdom is to growth as foolish is to rotten
Open and honest where fairness is gotten

God breathed the words to live and be
As only we should continue to see
Conduct and thought are two of a kind
Blended with love is easy to find

Jesus is light who reverses the fall
Trust in the Truth once and for all
Patient and kind, prefer one another
Hearts are for good and for your brother

Sisters in Christ grieve with no doubt
Loss is gain, turned inside out
Share of your woe and everyday hopes
Communicate freely as it promotes

Sarah L Hunt

Oct 13th

A Selfish Lament

By EzBloke

Ok... so I scanned the monthly competition and thought "aww, poetry. I can't do poetry." And dropped the idea of entering this months comp.

This last five weeks have been hell and, don't ask me why, I just wrote this yesterday. It's raw and, almost, as it came to me (two slight edits). So, I thought, I'll wang this into the competition and see what ripples lap on my shore. Then I
read the rules of the comp and realised it didn't fit. Sigh.

So I've blogged it instead. At the very least I'll become the third most blogging blogger on this site.

There are no warnings on this one except, maybe, that it's perhaps not what you'd expect. Of me.

It's called "A Selfish Lament" and it goes like this;

He does not have Alzheimer’s,

It’s not that awful disease,

He’s suffering from brain shrinkage;

His forest is losing its trees.


He does not need treating like others,

Just a nudge once in a while;

To remind him to eat, drink and

One more nudge, sadly, to smile.


What is it with these places?

How can they sleep at night?

The people that surround them,

Reduced to this pitiful sight?


Why can’t I just help him?

Why can’t I stop all his pain?

Give him a tablet or two or three

And bring back my father again?


My God I feel so pathetic.

My God I feel so ashamed.

I’ve screamed at you in the heavens

And by God taken your name in vain.


In truth God is not my problem

In truth it is me that’s at fault

I did not take up medicine

Instead I took up being a dolt


If I had the skills to do it

If I could only find a cure

Only then you’d know I love you

Because right now, I’m just not so sure.


And you know, when this is over

And time hides all that I’ve learned

I’ll still do nothing about it

Until… too late… my turn.


Not quite laureate standard but hell, you get the idea.
Let me know what you think with the usual comments, send knickers in the post (not you Woody) etc.


Oct 1st

Yoghurt Related Love Affair


(Sadly fictional but fun to write anyway - hope it makes you all smile!)

Yoghurt Related Love Affair

On a warm July day I was walking into the city

And passed a young brunette who I thought was a fitty

But I passed her by as my throat was parched

And to the newsagent instead I marched

To Mr Patel I asked with conviction

“Do you have anything quench-worthy to cure my affliction?”

He directed me to the chill-cabinets at the back

To his soft drink emporium that would make my lips smack

But scanning the racks crammed full of cheap pop

I happened upon the yoghurt drink Yop

The thought of it’s fruit flavours made me drool

And I purchased the bottle like some kind of fool

Without leaving the counter I screwed off the cap

Opened the shop door and walked through the gap

The next thing I know as I came out of the shop

Was that I was knocked over and got covered in Yop

The bottle took off straight into the air

And distributed it’s contents all over my hair

It’s yoghurty flavour permeated my skin

To express my annoyance I couldn’t begin!

“Look where you’re going, you silly old fool!”

“I’m sorry” said a girl who was ever so cool

I looked up and had a shock as I got to my feet

It was the Brunette I passed earlier on in the street

“You look a mess” She said now smiling at me

“I’d have thought that was obvious” I replied nonchalantly

“My names Rachel and I live 2 streets away”

“If you give me your clothes I’ll launder them today”

So reluctantly and covered in drink

We moved off together in a yoghurty stink

But sure enough she turned true to her word

And undressing I felt perhaps a little absurd

Especially after she’d washed my hair

And I was left in my pants with nothing to wear

As she towelled me down she caught my eye

I reached out to touch her, I don’t know why

But she met me half way in a passionate embrace

And the sauciest look ran across her face

The rest as they say is all in the past

We’re married now; it happened quite fast

And when we’re in bed, the yoghurt I savour

And she still licks my skin for it’s strawberry flavour.

Henry C Fox 2009

Sep 22nd

Chartered Accountant's Love Song

By Swimmy
When I was a misguided youth (as opposed to my current state of misguided adult), I trained as a Chartered Accountant.  I managed to pass all the exams up to the very last one which I failed four times.  In fact I passed all the papers, but not at the same time.  The net effect was that I only inflicted my poor accountancy skills on the world for a brief time, and was never able to charge obscene amounts of money for my dubious services.

In fact I switched from accountancy into sales, and thus at a stroke avoided having clients and had customers instead.  A wise man once told me that only professional people have clients, people like solicitors, accountants and prostitutes, and that the one thing they had in common was that they all s*****d their clients

I am rambling.  The purpose of this preamble was to introduce a little ditty I wrote while in training to become a chartered accountant.  I apologise for some of the jargon.  If I had only understood what it all meant I may have qualified.

Chartered Accountant’s Love Song


I love your double entry and I dig your tax appeal,

But I don’t know how to tell you just exactly how I feel.

I’m just a young accountant with a passion for your looks

Which is very nearly equalled by my passion for your books.


To me you are my ultimate, you have control of me.

If you say you love me, I’m your subsidiary.

I wish we could consolidate and end my lovesick grief,

Then if we got together we could get some group relief


To me you are my schedule D, my SSAP ten

It’s ages since they wrote it, but I’ve worshipped you since then.

I’ve had two years experience since I passed my last exam

So I’m ready now to practise if you’ll take me as I am.


You’re the debit to my credit, you’re the profit to my loss,

And if we double entered it would be the way it was

When I was once before in love and thought we’d never part

But found out she was certified and that just broke my heart.


So if you’ll just be my ACA and debit me with love,

The partnership agreement could be signed by Him above.

The great bookkeeper in the sky would then watch over us

And see we always profit and never make a loss.

Sep 18th

Phenomenal Woman

By francis
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say, It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me.
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Aug 28th

Morris Minor

By Swimmy
I really wanted to post my lighthearted poem about a bomb on the tube that I wrote during the 70s, and which I rather like, but I am afraid it would offend some people as being in bad taste after 7/7.  I guess if anyone wants to read it I can message it to them, otherwise it can stay lurking in my dusty old archive.

Instead I offer you this is little ditty wot I wrote when I was but a young man, and the Morris Minor was the car of choice for young men with no money or prospects.  For some reason I wrote it as a sort of talking country song, and with a deep south US accent.  There is an appalling rhyme 'well' (pronounced whale) with 'gale'.  Once again, it's nothing special, just something from my archives.

My pappy gave me fifty pounds,

Buy a car that don’t give no ground

He said, ‘Buy a Morris Minor’.


I went out that day, and I bought me a car,

The salesman said ‘That car’ll go far,

There’s a litre of power beneath that lid,

Enough to make a world record bid”.

I liked it and I bought it


I got inside and sitting real high

I really believed that car could fly

I turned on the engine and stepped on the gas

There wasn’t anything I couldn’t pass

That wasn’t moving.


A mile out from the parking lot

I had to duck when I heard a shot,

More shots came the faster I went

It took me a while to see what they meant

I was backfiring.


I was thinking that salesman wasn’t quite right

When the tone of the engine gave me a fright.

It sounded like the roar from a Formula One

But then I realised what I’d done.

I’d lost my exhaust pipe.


Travelling along I spied me a chick,

I thought in my Minor I’d pull her real quick,

Pulled up beside her and opened the door.

It fell off its hinges and onto the floor.

Right on her toe.


Out on the freeway with a following gale,

Was touching forty and doing quite well,

A dog ran out so what could I do

Stomped on the brakes and my foot went right through.

Through the floor that is.


Watching the road through the hole in the floor

I noticed the road wasn’t there anymore

Wrenched on the wheel it came off in my hands

I found myself loaded with overworked glands

Sweat glands that is.


Out of control the car started to weave

Weren’t nothing to stay for, decided to leave

Opened the door and leapt out of the car

Lucky I did so it didn’t go far

‘Bout as far as the nearest tree.