Passion for Poetry

Passion for Poetry

*Let the group be your audience*
Owner: Hana
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Group for anyone who wants to show their poetry, discuss writing and ideas. A group to share and give feedback on your work x

Latest Activity

  • 5 days ago
    Babs is now a member of "Passion for Poetry ".
  • 12 days ago
    Sohini is now a member of "Passion for Poetry ".
  • 22 days ago
    The_teller is now a member of "Passion for Poetry ".
  • 24 days ago
    Tony commented on the group Passion for Poetry 's wall:
    I'm afraid I don't understand it at all, Has'san. I do love your new word, though - a combination of wilderness and bewiderment - marvellous, even though I haven't a clue what that stanza means either. I'm not even sure I understand your ...
  • 25 days ago
    Josie is now a member of "Passion for Poetry ".
  • 25 days ago
    Has'san commented on the group Passion for Poetry 's wall:
    The four dots between two stanzas, were meant to be the gaps.
  • 25 days ago
    Has'san commented on the group Passion for Poetry 's wall:
    Poetry-lovers, what do you think about this poem. This is a poem i wrote for my abandoned story in which one of the students has written a poem about his three friends who changed and became the same as they were before. It was supposed to be ...
  • 26 days ago
    Has'san is now a member of "Passion for Poetry ".

Members

56 Members...

  • Tiffany Murray
  • Tony
  • CyprusRachael
  • Viveka
  • Aiyla
  • Hana
  • cate
  • Kenty
  • Telemachus
  • Reiss
  • Mike
  • 'Toe'.

The Wall

39 Wall Posts

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  • Tony
    by Tony 24 days ago
    I'm afraid I don't understand it at all, Has'san. I do love your new word, though - a combination of wilderness and bewiderment - marvellous, even though I haven't a clue what that stanza means either. I'm not even sure I understand your introduction - people who change and become the same as they were??? Sorry not to be very helpful this time ;-)
  • Has'san
    by Has'san 25 days ago
    The four dots between two stanzas, were meant to be the gaps.
  • Has'san
    by Has'san 25 days ago
    Poetry-lovers, what do you think about this poem.

    This is a poem i wrote for my abandoned story in which one of the students has written a poem about his three friends who changed and became the same as they were before. It was supposed to be written like this - with gaps because it would have been a lot bigger if written fully.

    It goes like this:

    Quite a significance they possess, they really do,
    whether you ask, they will be there to woo.

    Time melts away when they accompany you,
    the reason for attachment, i never had a clue.
    .
    .
    .
    Henceforth, moon's reflection became sun's,
    calm bewilderness and cold anger as if grappled them.
    .
    .
    .
    All faded away then as approached the dawn,
    smiles prevailed and flowers scented the lawn.
  • Tony
    by Tony 1 month ago
    Nogbadthebad, I would say it's the first line that needs re-writing. As it stands, I should have thought many would never read to the last line. So it doesn't matter which you choose.
  • nogbadthebad
    by nogbadthebad 1 month ago
    Listen...A poem. (Contains adult themes)

    A woman's c~~t
    An inexhaustible treasure.
    A three inch portal
    To a world of pleasure.
    (or To pain and pleasure)..Can't decide on the last line!
  • Reiss
    by Reiss 1 month ago
    People really need to respond more often here otherwise its just another dead group with no feed back.
    Latest wall post was one month ago and just lines of un-critiqued poetry.
  • Tony
    by Tony 3 months ago
    Re Minxie's poem and Kit's comments: I'd go along with her suggestion to consider dropping the second 'Eyes that' But I do like, as they are, the lines, "Such painful reality no lips could utter, so high no mind could climb, too wide to think around,"
    My only suggestion would be to continue the next line in the same vein with "Too harrowing to be forgot" istead of, "Too harrowing for her to forget".
  • Kit
    by Kit 3 months ago
    Challenge!

    Here in the States, the 31st is Halloween - a time for ghost stories, black cats, rattling skeletons, and witches flying before the moon. What similar hol do you celebrate? When? Write for your hol or ours, then post it here.

    Here's one of mine to get us going - a sestina -

    The Old Stone Bridge

    Out for a stroll near midnight, traversing the old stone bridge
    deep in thought, I was startled and worried to hear a groan.
    I stopped to listen in the black night, turned round to hunt
    the source of sighing, looking carefully for any trace
    of a soul in need. The sob was soft, someone nearing death?
    It came from above me! I looked up and wanted to run.

    Perched on a lamppost, was an apparition, a long run
    up her silk stocking. She was living in limbo, the bridge
    between this world and the next. Perhaps untimely death
    had called her too soon, ere her beloved’s passion had grown
    to match hers. She wept and searched as if seeking a small trace
    of him. She seemed unaware of me in her fruitless hunt.

    Stealthily, I slid my camera out. I had been on the hunt
    for a midnight scene to shoot. Entranced, I forgot to run,
    caught up in the chase, hoping to capture some small trace
    of specter on film, a grieving face above the old bridge
    from whose open mouth issued a miserable groan,
    a longing for release that had been cheated her in death.

    I focused my lens upon her and suddenly saw Death
    floating behind her, gloating, with his scythe ready to hunt
    a new victim, to cull another soul whose aching groan
    would add to his cacophonous symphony; a new run
    of haunted arpeggios; a concert on the old bridge,
    bassoons and oboes illuminating the steamy trace

    of human forms perched on black lamps. In the sky, was a trace
    more lightly drawn of a chorus of souls augmenting Death,
    his triumphant revel. I broke away to scan the bridge
    and saw on each lamppost, like trophies of his greedy hunt,
    souls in agony, desperation; knowing nowhere to run.
    All that was left were memories etched in each mournful groan.

    Death, the conductor, drove them ‘til the awful din had grown,
    and I questioned why I was chosen to observe this trace
    of evidence of afterlife from which I had not run.
    Did I face my own mortality, my own date with Death?
    Or was I there to bear witness, carry tales of his hunt,
    affirming his might that left souls ever haunting the bridge?

    I swore I would be the bridge, falling on my knees to groan
    I’d spread word of his hunt, specters of souls whose pain will trace
    their dance with Death. But then, Death gazed at me. I should have run.
  • Kit
    by Kit 3 months ago
    To Minxie regarding:

    She sat motionless, calm, nothing to say in the still of Heaven's dreams,
    With eyes that say the truth, that utter the words of deep felt pain,
    Eyes that reflect the hurt inside, that close to the tearful realisation that lie in the blink of a tear,
    Such painful reality no lips could utter, so high no mind could climb, too wide to think around,
    Too harrowing for her to forget,
    She does not make a sound - in her silence
    Peaceful in grief that won't subside,
    Calm in acceptance of what she cannot hide,
    Still, emotionless, sadness that flows
    In the still silence that she chose

    If you need to explain a term then that might indicate a place the poem needs more clarification. In this case, I would assume your audience gets it - consider lower case for heaven as it is not the religious heaven according to your note. Consider dropping 'Eyes that' since it repeats the words from the line above so isn't really necessary.

    Consider some changes to this line to make the grammar work:
    Such painful reality no lips could utter, so high no mind could climb, too wide to think around,
    Such painful reality no lips could utter, no mind could climb so high or think so wide,

    or

    Such painful reality no lips could utter, no mind could climb;
    a truth too wide to think around, too harrowing for her to forget,

    Last thought is consider improving the visual flow by breaking the longer lines in half with paragraph breaks.

    Your imagery leads to questions in my mind - well done!
  • Kit
    by Kit 3 months ago
    I have never lost my soul by changing a poem. Feedback tells me different things depending on the source. Sometimes, I choose to leave something someone else finds unclear, other times I change it because the feedback highlights a problem communicating an idea that matters to me. It depends on the purpose of my poem and for whom it is written. In the end, the poem belongs to the poet, and what the poet does with the feedback is up for grabs. But, I don't give feedback where it's not potentially useful - what's the point? Doesn't mean I won't read your work, or compliment it, but I am not likely to pass on my thoughts tied to the craft since that is, if I understand correctly, not your purpose in posting.